Joseph Edgar (the self-acclaimed Duke of Shomolu) is not the kind of person you expect a rather conservative pastor like Niran to call a friend. He is a troublemaker with a big mouth whose pen and camera could run at the same speed, if not faster than his thoughts. Without sounding arrogant, I think I calculate better before I utter a word or involve myself in anything. Again, there is the consciousness that as a public figure, self-control is sacrosanct at all times.
On the ground while begging Are Afe Babalola on behalf of Joe yesterday, baba wondered where a refined Executive Chairman of his dear Ekiti State met a friend whose hair appeared uncombed for ages. Baba even told him about the abnormality of a man wearing an earring. My colleagues who saw him when he arrived in my office wondered what could have attracted me to this Loud Whisper loudmouth to their oga. The truth is that while Joe and I do not agree on a lot of things, I cannot hide the fact that I love him. I love his writing, marketing and relating skills. Though I sometimes call him a fake Duke, Joe is not fake in character. This is one Nigerian you don’t need to “go verify” whatever he says. He will fascinate you with stories of his weaknesses in 55 out of 60 minutes of interactions with him as long as you care to give him an audience and endure his restless mannerism.
Joe is never worried about courting troubles and he’s never ashamed to beg for mercy when convinced he’s erred. Recently, he rashly criticised Baba Afe Babalola’s donation of a big sum of money to a European university despite being a friend to one of Baba’s offspring. I told him, why do you chastise a nonagenarian who never held a public office and with no record of theft of our commonwealth of what he does with his money? Why not ask him first why he did what he did with his money before crucifying him?
Joe told me, Niran, I know Baba is a big philanthropist but I do not agree with this donation. We had a hot debate on this in a Zoom meeting until he was summoned by the Commissioner of Police of Ekiti State. When you are big you are big!
He called me and immediately I did a few calls and linking here and there. I also provided assurance of his safety and reasoned along on the need to come to Ekiti State and apologise. Before I knew it, Joe had written about why he could not understand why Niran (sometimes he calls me Niyi) would decide to rescue a troublesome fellow like him. His wife called to thank me even when we had not resolved the issue.
Then he landed yesterday and we went to ABUAD to see Aare Afe Babalola who had responded to Joe’s apology letter assuring him of forgiveness and inviting him to come and see him. We waited for a few minutes as Baba was in a meeting. Thanks to Auntie Bunmi who joined in keeping company with the restless Joseph Edgar as he practised how to prostrate before Baba at the reception.
At 2:50 pm, we were ushered in. Joe saw an elderly chief also waiting to see Baba. Joe asked the elderly man if he was a chief (he was wearing beads on his hands). The man answered in the affirmative. I didn’t know where to run to when Joe asked the elderly man whether he was an ogboni member! Trust me, I didn’t wait to hear the response as the door to the expansive office of Baba flung open. I rushed in, remove my cap and gave Baba full idobale with my face to the ground. Baba asked in a painful voice, “what have I done to you to deserve such a bashing….?”. Thank God for a staff of Baba serving as an interpreter. He quickly told Baba I wasn’t the culprit and pointed to Joe who understood a few Yoruba.
Joe was on the floor with his beard touching the ground. I spoke in Ekiti dialect and pleaded that Baba should tamper justice with mercy. A small child would hardly eat pap without smearing his hands.
Boom! Baba’s voice rang out.
“As I wrote in my letter, I have forgiven you. Can’t you see the way others dressed well? With your scattered dreadlocks and earing on your ears, you had the audacity of blaming me for wanting to help people with no access to formal education. I attended only primary school. My first degree was through correspondence courses. Are you saying it is a crime to want to encourage other Africans to have similar opportunities?”
We wanted to remain on the floor explaining when Baba indicated it was 3 pm and he had to go for his normal daily break. He directed we be taken to lodge at his expense at the ABUAD Inn. We should eat whatever we liked and be taken around the university, hospital, industrial packs, farms etc and come back to see him between 8 and 9 pm and “the court rose”!
What a magnanimity! We had not gone halfway when Joe opened his big mouth to acknowledge he messed up. He told us of how he preferred the Yoruba culture to his Ibibio. He explained how he had no choice but to yield to my suggestion to do a play on Adekunle Fajuyi. We cancelled the hotel accommodation reserved for him in town and ate pounded yam with fresh vegetables at the Inn. I had hardly landed on my hotel bed to take a little rest when I saw a message that Joe had sent to his over 10,000 WhatsApp readers showing the Ekiti Internal Revenue Executive Chairman leading in paying homage to the old and respectable largest taxpayer (aside from the government) in Ekiti land. This was followed by another video clip of how big and luxurious the room he was put in was. He eulogised Baba and thank God he offended the man with a forgiving spirit who rather than curse him has decided to be a blessing. I hope I succeeded in dissuading him not to go and yab other big men in the society expecting to be treated like a celebrated prodigal son.
At exactly 8:30 pm, Baba returned to the office and we were ushered in at 9 pm. Baba answered all Joe’s questions about the state of the nation, his connection with Obj, the judiciary, elections, the future of Nigerians, the constitution etc eloquently. Great enough, the views of Joe and Baba on most of these issues were the same.
As I sensed the time allocated to us was almost up, I revealed Joe’s plan to do a stage play on Adekunle Fajuyi before the end of the year. He immediately told Joe he would be given materials he had on the great man who bequeathed Ekiti with honour by yielding himself to be killed rather than yield his visitor to the cold hands of revengeful soldiers.
At 10 pm, baba gave each of us an envelope. If I had opened it in time, I would have asked Joe to pay tax thereon. I would have to go back to Baba to continue discussions on the IGR of Ekiti State. I encouraged Joe to visit Ikogosi Warm Spring so that we can take a little money from him.
When I saw him in shorts this morning, I told him I had training with my colleagues on how to increase the IGR of Ekiti State and would not be able to follow him to Ikogosi. Like a hungry cat who saw a straying rat, he jumped at it! “Can I speak with them for 5 minutes?” I said yes. After seeing the brilliance of the Ado-Ekiti topography from Oke Ayoba, he took over the mic like a bulldog and charged my colleagues on how we could move the numbers up. I dare not mention what he said we should be generating per month here! Rather than do Fajuyi in Abuja / Lagos, I am happy I was able to convince him to consider using the Civic Centre in Ado-Ekiti. Joe left with his trouble this morning but I am missing him already.
Though he does not agree, I know one day, he would use his marketing mavericks and magnetic relationship expertise to usher men into God’s kingdom. Never judge a man by his look but by the content he carries.
Niran Olatona is the Executive Chairman Ekiti State Internal Revenue Service
