By Atinuke Odjenima
Dear Business Leader,
Do you remember the story of my friend, who asked the right question? In sequel to that, here’s another leadership lesson again I learnt from our interaction. So, todays article is on the quality of people you have relationship with, in your circle or in your life.
From that story, I keenly observed the role or importance of the quality of people we surround ourselves with. It’s possible for you to ask the right question(s) and not get the right answers and that’s depending on the quality of people you surround yourself with. There’s this popular saying about birds of the same feathers flock together or something like that.
Also, there’s another that says ‘’if you have four friends who are billionaires, you are definitely the 5th one’’. Isn’t this a classic example of show me your friend and I will tell you who you are? You are a representation of the circle you belong to! You may not agree with me but hey, leadership is relationship by influence through trust and that’s the power of your association. That’s the truth.
As I like to say that your relationship can either make you or mare you. In other words, the people in your life would either pull you up or pull you down, they will either sharpen you (toward excellence, integrity, wisdom) or weakenyou (through compromise, flattery, or enabling) If you are someone going somewhere in life and determined to become a notable person, you cannot afford to be careless on who you associate yourself with.
The quality of your relationship is crucial to your progress and subsequently your success. Because, no man is an island and the creator of the universe hasn’t created us to do life alone. So, we are designed to lead, to be part of a community and be with people, these shaped by character, competence and capacity. Because the people you interact and associate with, influences you in ways known and unknown to you. And if you question a person/people who do not have the intellectual, emotional capacity to give you responses that would lead somewhere, then you are stuck.
There are relationships in our lives that we have no privilege to choose, like family but it’s a greater privilege to have the choice to choose who your friends will be, your spouse, employer or employee based on their morals, values, beliefs or interest. These other people outside your family members that you have the sole responsibility to choose; are most likely the ones you’d spend most part of your life years with. It’s for this reason, that its important you choose wisely and carefully, value adding people. As we all know that leaders don’t know it all, yet quality decisions are made by the quality of books and people you associate yourselves with.
The act of leading can sometimes be a lonely journey and ego-inflating, so no matter how smart, skilled, visionary, or intelligent you are, it’s the quality of people/relationships you associate yourself with will be there to support you, hold you accountable when pride or pressure rises, encourage you when self-doubt or burnout hits and also being a steady reminder of your values and “why” while ultimately these will shape the quality, strength, and impact of your leadership and determine your influence, effectiveness, and long-term success.
You see, leadership isn’t just about the vision, strategy or the goals, it’s fundamentally about people, the connections we make, the character we shape and the influences we have on one another.
No great leader does it alone. The right connections or associations open doors you could never open alone, introduce you to opportunities, resources, and collaborations, helps you scale your vision faster and smarter. So, it’s not just what you know or who you know — it’s who grows with you. You can have relationships as mentors, peers, teams, friends etc.
To have quality relationships, it must start with you. You should equally be a person of value, hence be intentional and authentic, prioritize connections that align with your values and mission, build relationships based on trust, respect, and mutual benefit. Create and be a safe place where people feel seen, heard, and valued, build credibility and strengthen loyalty.
Communicate effectively as open and honest communication is the lifeline of quality relationships.
Show and express gratitude and appreciation always and avoid the spirit of familiarity and entitlement which weakens relationships. Be the one ready and willing to give before you ask– offer value (advice, support, recognition) without expecting immediate returns.
Just as anything that grows is required to be deliberately nurtured so is relationships too, so ensure you invest time, effort and other resources in building and maintaining them, this is most times sacrificial. And with a positive mind, humbly readdress conflicts. I value the people in my life so much that I cannot afford to lose them.
The advantages of having quality associations have immeasurable significant impact on your leadership effectiveness. So now, would you right now take a quick assessment to check the quality of people you have surrounded yourself with or even much more the quality of person you are to those around you? Well, as for me, I am happy for my own friends, for I am a valuable person in their circle……yeah, its my bragging right and I am proud like that (smiles)….just joking!
For you, going forward, please be deliberate to begin building and maintaining strong and valuable relationships, surrounding yourself with supportive, knowledgeable, and diverse individuals who can help you navigate challenges, drive innovation, improve decision making and achieve your goals.
When you are surrounded by people of value, you will make informed choices and make better decisions, because, they will challenge your blind spots, offer insight and feedback that will elevate your thinkingand help you see beyond yourself. Be like my friend, Dimma, who has quality person like me in his corner!
Till next time you read from me, I am rooting for you as your Transformational Growth Catalyst.
Atinuke Odjenima
Love is all I have.
