He had mentioned it but I never really connected. Tunde was my schoolmate in Command, but I can’t remember if we met in school.
Very cerebral and highly intelligent. A director in one of the huge financial institutions in the country.
Then it was Emir Sanusi in abuja. He called and said, I’m coming and I’m coming with my kids.
Tunde had come to uyo to see me during one of my plays and as such I didnt doubt him.
He came with his lovely kids. They were tall and very handsome. They looked smart, but why not? Their father was one of the most brilliant people I know.
I think they wore glasses and looked very well situated. I hugged them and shook Tunde and said, ‘ wey madam? And he said
But I tell u na. Madam don pass since na. So na me be papa and mama for sometime now.
Ohhh I connected. The widower. I am technically a widower. So I connected. He must have done a yeo mans job cos from what I was seeing the kids where doing very very well.
U no go marry again? I asked him. He is far younger than I am but more accomplished. So I felt he shd try again. He looked at me and said, ‘ bro make i rest small’
The society never really connects with the widower . He is expected to bounce back immediately, after all he must have already been having it on the side even while madam was on her sick bed.
But the midnight loneliness where u are tossing and wondering how you are going to engage your child the next morning is best imagined.
You try to do those things that you had taken for granted.
Alvin why are you not eating. Alvin your teeth are turning yellow, Alvin where are the acne coming from
Then I start to thank God that Alvin was not a girl child. Ohhh my God her first period? Her bra size? I will run away o
It’s never the same. No matter how hard you try to build a buffer of support through relations and other friends the mothers huge absence is felt madly.
The child withdraws and the father who is a man and cannot connect to these kinds of things will just be looking stupid.
The first school shopping sees you spending over 200% of what the mother would have spent cos you are inexperienced.
You son suddenly becomes an alien to you. U are looking at your blood but can’t recognise him. Who is this stranger you ask yourself cos something is missing
The widower is a different specie. He is floating in a miasma of ignorance without the capacity to cope or engage
Its usually not all woes though cos as the children grow they begin to take leadership off you.
Cos life has taught them a bitter lesson and they no longer have the luxury of youth. They must grow up
I watch as Tunde’s very beautiful daughter leads him into the Hall. She is protective of him just they way Alvin is of me.
I remember when I wanted to fight at Annettes graduation.
The bouncer had lifted me off from the ground and in pure Shomolu style, I had launched into the air to deliver a smart bomb on the ugly goon but saw myself being plucked from the sky by no less a super hero than Alvin
Where he got the strength I didn’t know. He had grown into a man that minute. He held me down and spoke to the bouncer he is my father, can we go in
He was freaking 13 and I was freaking 53. But he had taken control and handled the situation. He held me close to himsekf throughout the occasion making sure his hands were wrapped around my waist so I don’t fly again.
Would he have been that bold where his mother alive? I doubt. She would hve shielded him and rushed him back into her womb while I kill or be killed
The widower is on his own. Very much so and must struggle against the headwinds of bringing up children literally on his own.
Would he further complicate his life by getting married again. A lot go down that stretch with different results others just stay on their own and trudge that lonely road with rugged determination.
Tunde is my friend and brother and Tunde is a widower
Duke of Shomolu