The Editor’s Pick

The Duke met up with legendary yeezy sneakers best human hair wigs for black females yeezy boost 350 v2 black philadelphia eagles jersey ja marr chase youth jersey custom youth nfl jersey custom made basketball jerseys yeezy shoes women best human hair wigs online red and black jordan 1 custom youth basketball uniforms luvme human hair wigs custom youth nfl jersey penn state jersey best human hair wigs for black femalesComedian Alibaba to discuss the contribution of the entertainment industry to GDP at the NACCIMA AGM in Ekiti recently

Multiple talented and gifted Artists Joseph Olusola Edgar II recently had his debut International Art Exhibition at Savannah Georgia.

Joseph who is the son of Ace Theatre Producer Joseph Edgar, just graduated from the world famous Savannah College of Arts and Design a renowned school for gifted creative.

His works would soon be displayed on the very prominent Arts sharing platform ARTSPLIT

Annonymous Nipples – A trail of choices – August, 2023. Lagos. Director William Benson

Etsu Nupe – Sept 2023. Abuja. Director- Prof Ahmed Yerima

Fajuyi – Oct 2023. Lagos. Ado- Ekiti. October 2023. Director Prof. Ojo Bakare.

Our Duke Has Gone Mad Again. Dec. 2023. Lagos. Director Segun adefila

Sardauna . Lagos. Dec 2023. Director. Prof Ahmed Yerima

King Jaja of Opobo. Lagos. Dec 2023. Director – William benson

Zik . Lagos. April. 2023. Director. Dr. Ikuku

Aremu vs kongi – Lagos. April 2023. Director Makinde Adeniran

Which will you be seeing?

Duke of Shomolu
Inauguration invitee

Inspired by two books written by Investment Bankers – Annonymous Nipples and Trail by choices

Anonymous Nipples generated over N10m in sales when it first came out

Strikingly beautiful women like Elvina Ibru, Regina Askia, and Buky Campbel contributed essays

Themes like same-sex relations, threesomes, BDSM, and polygamy, amongst other taboo topics, were discussed in the book

The book contained over 100 pics of semi-nude models with their Nipples in full display

Marvelous Dominion was the cover model and would be featured in the play

The play is directed by William Benson, one of the most bankable theatre producers in the country today

For the first time in the history of theatre, audiences will be getting a two-in-one play over a two-day period

Ibi Sofekun master photographer and Nigeria foremost nude photographer will display his works at the venue during the two-day extravaganza

Elvina Ibru is expected to lead the cast in a career-altering move

Abbey, who is a director at the National Theatre, would be building the sets of the two plays. Abbey built the world acclaim Aremu set

For the first time ever, a cartoon character depicting the narrator Sleek Duke has been created.

The character was conceived and brought to image life by legendary cartoonist Albert Ohams. The figure cost over N100, 000 to create

There would be responsible nudity and adult language during the plays

Olisa Adibua is coproducing again. Olisa Co-produced Zik

Wakanowevents are sole ticket vendors and sponsors.

First Bank and Amstel Malt already signed up as sponsors.

Unlike other plays, we will have very limited ticket availability since 20% of tickets have been pre-sold but would be live-streamed globally so people can watch with their partners at home.

Anonymous Nipples – A trail of choices will promote responsible and healthy sexual relations among adults.

… we produced Threesome and this is an 18+ show

Thanks

Duke of Shomolu

Joseph Edgar the Duke of Shomolu presents two provocative plays that responsibly and provocatively look at the dark side of love, sexuality, and relationships. Madddd.

Edgar, my mum has a kidney problem, and I have to rush her to India to save her life. This was what was confronting me that rainy Tuesday morning.

As she spoke, I could see the tears welling up. Her beautiful face contorted in pain and eyes that used to love me now in pain.

She was young. Not up to 26 but with burden that could bury the strongest of men. Her beautiful mum needed a kidney transplant urgently, and the cost was out of her tiny reach.

She had just gotten a new job. I had spoken to my friend to give her a job in her Asset Management firm and hadn’t even earned her first salary.

Prior to these, I didn’t have a job, but she kept me alive with bouts of Indomie and a shoulder to cry on.

Immediately, I got a job at Otunba’s FCMB, I bought her a car to say thank you for her loyalty.

But she didn’t tell me her mum was facing a life-threatening illness, I wouldn’t have bought the car, and now we were faced with her imminent death

I looked at the bill and shook my head. This was huge and she said, ‘ Edgar every where I have been to, they want to sleep with me bf they give me money and even if I want to do that, how many will I sleep with to raise this kind of money?

In tears, she hugged me and said,’ Edgar, let’s allow her to die. Let’s bury her in Ijebu, God who allowed this happen will understand.

I pulled her close to me and said no we owe her a fight.”” I will raise this money even if it’s the last thing I do.

I said, “Where are you from and she said Ijebu. I said there is one big Ijebu man who owns my bank, his name is Otunba Subomi Balogun, let’s go and see him

Shey that Baba that used to wear white? She asked with her beautiful lips. I said yes let’s go don’t worry, he won’t want to sleep with you, he is a very famous strict man and kind and friendly.

That night, I cdnt sleep. I was but a lowly servant in FCMB, working with Gboyega, Otunba’s son at the stockbrokong arm.

What if they sacked me? What if they even kicked me out of the building? Why would I just 2 months on the job now have the effontery to make such an audacious move

By morning, I had told myself that last they would sack me. Shebi I was out of the job for three months. I didn’t die. So whatelse is new

Then I saw the BMW. I had asked for it and gotten it and said Kai will I lose this BMw, fear catch me and I decided to call the young lady and say – Otunba has traveled.””

Then I saw the mother. She had gone for dialysis, and she was weak. Her once beautiful eyes dull, and her resolve to fight diminished. Edgar, please take care of my daughter she said.

Shame catch me. This was me trying to put a BMW on the same pedestal of a life. Not just any life but a life that has produced the most beautiful woman that I had kissed by that time.

I said, ‘ Oya, let’s go see Otunba. Today is Tuesday, and he comes to work on Tuesdays.

I entered the building. It was facing the Marina and emerged on his floor. His very kind hearted Secretary listened to me as I spoke, and she said, ‘ Don’t worry, you will see Otunba.

I was in his favorite pinstriped suit. Otunba was a snazzy dresser. It was his suits and pocket squares that pulled me into investment banking.

I told him as much during the final interview for the job. I used to come from UI to just stand and watch him alight from his luxurious cars and walk like the King of England into the Primrose Towers.

I would follow him and go and read the plaque by the wall… this is a testament of a young man’s… and then I will swear that in this my life, I will be an investment banker and stockbroker.

It was he and Albert that remian my abiding mentors in the profession. He inspired me not only with his suits but with the way he built the franchise from one man to 55,000 shareholders

Otunba will see you now. I looked at the girl and said, “You will look very sad, clean your lipstick, and don’t look at me like you know me o.

We entered, and he was sat at the end of the office. Otunba was a very handsome man with open teeth. His pinstripe suit, although more expensive than my own, sat beautifully on him

Age had done well for him. He still looked regal and charismatic. He looked up and said,’ Are u not the stockbroker who will be doing our local business and I said yes, and he said, ‘How can I help u.

You guys know im a salesman. But this was the pitch of a lifetime to a legendary salesman.

I said, ‘ Sir, this lady is an Ijebu person like u. I am from Akwa Ibom and can not love her more than you. The other day when I was going to see her, I passed your house in Ijebu and their house is three streets away.

He looked at her as I spoke, and I knew I had gotten him, so I continued..

Sir, her mother will die in two months if I don’t get her to India. She has kidney problems and when I met her she was doing dialysis once a week, now she is doing three times a week and this is why I have risked my new job to come straight to you in a last minute ditch to save the Ijebu woman’s life.

He looked at me with pride. I swear he wanted to hug me, but na Otunba o and that time I was not yet Duke.

He said,’ Edgar, I don’t have a problem with helping, but I get a lot of this, and most turn out to be fake.

He turned towards her and asked her a lot of questions in Ijeabu. I was worried. Dont let this go and tell this Baba that I am toasting her, if she do dt one na to go buy coffin and me go end for labor market again

As they spoke, I looked around Otunbas office. This was royalty. Baba knew how to be regal. He was blue blood, and everything in that office screamed it.

Finally, he said Edgar how much is everything and I told him and he said, I will pay. The girl rushed to hug me, I pushed her away before Baba, who is a disciplinarian, would come and see that it’s girlfriend.

Send the details to my PA and leave the rest. He thanked me so much for what I was doing for the Ijebu girl and sent his greetings to the afflicted mother.

Outside, I cdnt believe I had just raised about N15m, and this was like 8 years ago. I screamed and ran towards the Marina to jump into the water. Adrenaline rushing into my head.

The next day, we got receipts. Otunba, true to his words, had paid for everything. I sent him a mail thanking him and praying for a long life.

I met Otunba one more time after that. 15 months later. I had resigned and felt that I owed him to go tell him I was leaving.

I walked into his office again in the same pinstrip suit, and he was wearing his own and said, “My son, is there anything I can say to you to make you change your mind

I looked at him and said NO. I am doing exactly what you did, leaving Icon Merchant Bank and chasing the then Minister of Finance Victor Mazi to Opobo in the midnight to get your banking license.

I am going to build a bigger bank than FCMB, and I have come to you for your blessings.

He started crying. Small tears came out of his eyes as he saw himself in me, and I said Baba don’t cry the next time you see me.” It’s for you to come and open my bank.

I saluted him and turned and walked away staright into EFCC cell o.

Adieu Baba who used to wear white. God is in a very joyous mood cos he would be receiving his anointed son.

I am happy.

God bless you, sir

Thank you

Duke of Shomolu

Joseph Edgar (the self-acclaimed Duke of Shomolu) is not the kind of person you expect a rather conservative pastor like Niran to call a friend. He is a troublemaker with a big mouth whose pen and camera could run at the same speed, if not faster than his thoughts. Without sounding arrogant, I think I calculate better before I utter a word or involve myself in anything. Again, there is the consciousness that as a public figure, self-control is sacrosanct at all times.

On the ground while begging Are Afe Babalola on behalf of Joe yesterday, baba wondered where a refined Executive Chairman of his dear Ekiti State met a friend whose hair appeared uncombed for ages. Baba even told him about the abnormality of a man wearing an earring. My colleagues who saw him when he arrived in my office wondered what could have attracted me to this Loud Whisper loudmouth to their oga. The truth is that while Joe and I do not agree on a lot of things, I cannot hide the fact that I love him. I love his writing, marketing and relating skills. Though I sometimes call him a fake Duke, Joe is not fake in character. This is one Nigerian you don’t need to “go verify” whatever he says. He will fascinate you with stories of his weaknesses in 55 out of 60 minutes of interactions with him as long as you care to give him an audience and endure his restless mannerism.

Joe is never worried about courting troubles and he’s never ashamed to beg for mercy when convinced he’s erred. Recently, he rashly criticised Baba Afe Babalola’s donation of a big sum of money to a European university despite being a friend to one of Baba’s offspring. I told him, why do you chastise a nonagenarian who never held a public office and with no record of theft of our commonwealth of what he does with his money? Why not ask him first why he did what he did with his money before crucifying him?
Joe told me, Niran, I know Baba is a big philanthropist but I do not agree with this donation. We had a hot debate on this in a Zoom meeting until he was summoned by the Commissioner of Police of Ekiti State. When you are big you are big!
He called me and immediately I did a few calls and linking here and there. I also provided assurance of his safety and reasoned along on the need to come to Ekiti State and apologise. Before I knew it, Joe had written about why he could not understand why Niran (sometimes he calls me Niyi) would decide to rescue a troublesome fellow like him. His wife called to thank me even when we had not resolved the issue.
Then he landed yesterday and we went to ABUAD to see Aare Afe Babalola who had responded to Joe’s apology letter assuring him of forgiveness and inviting him to come and see him. We waited for a few minutes as Baba was in a meeting. Thanks to Auntie Bunmi who joined in keeping company with the restless Joseph Edgar as he practised how to prostrate before Baba at the reception.
At 2:50 pm, we were ushered in. Joe saw an elderly chief also waiting to see Baba. Joe asked the elderly man if he was a chief (he was wearing beads on his hands). The man answered in the affirmative. I didn’t know where to run to when Joe asked the elderly man whether he was an ogboni member! Trust me, I didn’t wait to hear the response as the door to the expansive office of Baba flung open. I rushed in, remove my cap and gave Baba full idobale with my face to the ground. Baba asked in a painful voice, “what have I done to you to deserve such a bashing….?”. Thank God for a staff of Baba serving as an interpreter. He quickly told Baba I wasn’t the culprit and pointed to Joe who understood a few Yoruba.
Joe was on the floor with his beard touching the ground. I spoke in Ekiti dialect and pleaded that Baba should tamper justice with mercy. A small child would hardly eat pap without smearing his hands.
Boom! Baba’s voice rang out.
“As I wrote in my letter, I have forgiven you. Can’t you see the way others dressed well? With your scattered dreadlocks and earing on your ears, you had the audacity of blaming me for wanting to help people with no access to formal education. I attended only primary school. My first degree was through correspondence courses. Are you saying it is a crime to want to encourage other Africans to have similar opportunities?”
We wanted to remain on the floor explaining when Baba indicated it was 3 pm and he had to go for his normal daily break. He directed we be taken to lodge at his expense at the ABUAD Inn. We should eat whatever we liked and be taken around the university, hospital, industrial packs, farms etc and come back to see him between 8 and 9 pm and “the court rose”!
What a magnanimity! We had not gone halfway when Joe opened his big mouth to acknowledge he messed up. He told us of how he preferred the Yoruba culture to his Ibibio. He explained how he had no choice but to yield to my suggestion to do a play on Adekunle Fajuyi. We cancelled the hotel accommodation reserved for him in town and ate pounded yam with fresh vegetables at the Inn. I had hardly landed on my hotel bed to take a little rest when I saw a message that Joe had sent to his over 10,000 WhatsApp readers showing the Ekiti Internal Revenue Executive Chairman leading in paying homage to the old and respectable largest taxpayer (aside from the government) in Ekiti land. This was followed by another video clip of how big and luxurious the room he was put in was. He eulogised Baba and thank God he offended the man with a forgiving spirit who rather than curse him has decided to be a blessing. I hope I succeeded in dissuading him not to go and yab other big men in the society expecting to be treated like a celebrated prodigal son.

At exactly 8:30 pm, Baba returned to the office and we were ushered in at 9 pm. Baba answered all Joe’s questions about the state of the nation, his connection with Obj, the judiciary, elections, the future of Nigerians, the constitution etc eloquently. Great enough, the views of Joe and Baba on most of these issues were the same.
As I sensed the time allocated to us was almost up, I revealed Joe’s plan to do a stage play on Adekunle Fajuyi before the end of the year. He immediately told Joe he would be given materials he had on the great man who bequeathed Ekiti with honour by yielding himself to be killed rather than yield his visitor to the cold hands of revengeful soldiers.
At 10 pm, baba gave each of us an envelope. If I had opened it in time, I would have asked Joe to pay tax thereon. I would have to go back to Baba to continue discussions on the IGR of Ekiti State. I encouraged Joe to visit Ikogosi Warm Spring so that we can take a little money from him.
When I saw him in shorts this morning, I told him I had training with my colleagues on how to increase the IGR of Ekiti State and would not be able to follow him to Ikogosi. Like a hungry cat who saw a straying rat, he jumped at it! “Can I speak with them for 5 minutes?” I said yes. After seeing the brilliance of the Ado-Ekiti topography from Oke Ayoba, he took over the mic like a bulldog and charged my colleagues on how we could move the numbers up. I dare not mention what he said we should be generating per month here! Rather than do Fajuyi in Abuja / Lagos, I am happy I was able to convince him to consider using the Civic Centre in Ado-Ekiti. Joe left with his trouble this morning but I am missing him already.
Though he does not agree, I know one day, he would use his marketing mavericks and magnetic relationship expertise to usher men into God’s kingdom. Never judge a man by his look but by the content he carries.

Niran Olatona is the Executive Chairman Ekiti State Internal Revenue Service

I cannot o. She is Bolaji’s wife, and Bolaji is the financial power behind the massive new documentary named after my mum – Inyang Ibok

By the time I sent the initial rushes to my Anerican Agent- she screamed. Edgar, this is exciting. I am on holiday in Dallas, and by the time I get back to New York, I will start pitching it to buyers. Welldone.

I have always wanted to do documentaries. Everybody has said after theatre go to films. I won’t ever. I don’t like films, I don’t even have the presence of mind to sit still and watch the thing from end to end except the other kind. Even that one sef na 5 minutes.

So I always knew I would do a documentary, and theatre would be my subject. When I was ready, I went shopping for a producer.

I knew nothing about the process, so I needed a steady hand that would give me a product I could take to the international film festival circuits.

I spoke to a few directors but cdnt feel them. I wanted depth something different and something that would shock.

I didn’t want a safe vehicle that would be boring and say the same things over and over again.

Over the last few years, I have amazed a rich flow of material from our plays and knew that the documentary would be very rich.

It would be an expose on society and also expose theater and its practitioners in a way that it has never been done before.

I was now hearing budget figures that could buy a house in ikoyi. I wasn’t scared of figures. I have never been scared of numbers, but these numbers I was hearing didn’t make sense

Cue in Bolaji. Bolaji is a brilliant banker and very calm. I went to market him to sponsor a play, and he mentioned that he would like his wife to work with me on the said play

I said ok….. then he said, “Oh, she is into films and have done some nice things and I said ok…. I am looking to shoot a documentary. Can I meet her.

She is dark with deep penetrating eyes. Very serious looking and not too open to humor. Very professional but not with the intimidating look of most women of her status

She immediately took control and said Edgar I have the director.” He is the best and can work within our budget.

Pudie came in. He was cuddly with my kind of hair an ijaw man but very friendly. He looked like a soft pillow, and u suddenly felt the urge to just hug him and sleep.

We told him the budget. We had the first visioning session in my house. Olisa Adibua and Yemi shodimu, who would eventually narrate the documentary where in attendance.

After the meeting, I went back to Bolaji to cut the financial deal and closed with him. Funding was now no problem, and work began.

Toyin worked very astutely. She got almost 90% of our chosen subjects except Bolanle Austen Peters, whose tight schedule made tracking her down with an expensive camera crew running all over Lagos very herculean

We got Ken Etete the ever busy oil and gas magnate at his GYm and tied down Austen the handsome MD of Anchor at Insurance.

Toyin coordinated the shoot, the interviews, the technical parts, and most especially me.

I can be very impatient and erratic. If something is not going my way, esp within the creative process, I will rant, shout, and curse.

She held me down perfectly. It is on record that not for once did I shout even when I called to say the Olu of Warri was coming and I needed a crew in place, and she said it was not possible. I was just gentle.

The most herculean shoot was carrying over 300 actors with the DG of the national theatre. to shoot what is looking like the largest ever theatrical photo shoot in our history.

Toyin came with Bolaji straight from a family stuff and watched very carefully as her people performed magic.

It wasn’t easy pulling and pushing over 300 mad people into positions, and what I saw at the documentary made me almost cry.

As I preview the last rushes of the documentary, I see a brilliant work of art, and before pple starts saying ohhh Edgar u are brilliant.” Ohh u are a genius. Ihh, how do u do these things? Let me quickly say na Toyin and Pudie no be me

Toyin has been remarkable on this project she kept to budget and even gave me back N100k – unheard off.

Put together a magical team who much more importantly delivered the very best in cinematic quality, telling the story that I really want to tell.

This documentary named after my mother will tour the world. We will be submitting it to Film festivals in Canada, South Africa, Brazil, and the rest in my bid to celebrate Nigerian theatre.

*But before then, I will exclusively premier it to 300 of my closest friends who will pay N5k each to attend, and then I will give all of the N1.5m raised to just one widow.

Just one widow o.

Thank you, toyin

Duke of Shomolu

My initial thoughts are very clear. I could be wrong, but let me attempt a little explanation of what I think is going on between these two.

Tony’s Heirs holdings at a little over 12% have controlling shares of the conglomerate. Tony serves as Chairman, and with the wonderful Transcorp Hilton hotel and its captive Government business contributing about N50b- latest figures, Tony was sitting pretty.

Then, his power plant also dropped another N400b to the kitty, Tony more than deserved the IG lifestyle complete with junkets around exotic places globally.

But dark clouds were looming. The share price was funny. It was selling at a little above N1.40 even as late as two weeks ago, and with a shareholder base of about 300,000, it was just a virgin girl thrown into a bar filled with drunken sailors.

How Tony didn’t see this coming beats my imagination. He is too experienced and savvy not to have seen Transcorp as a beautiful conquest for any corporate raider.

The pricing was right, the returns beautiful, shareholders base which could give control ready and willing and then its operations in strategic sectors made it sweeter than a well made plate of Afang.

Guess he was distracted with his global conquest of being the next Idris Elba in Nigerian board rooms that he left his flank open.

Now Femi, who has said he doesn’t have to work for money again, leaving his Italian ice cream for a second looks at the power sector in Nigeria and decides to consolidate.

Already listed his Geregu and coming out of that with about N200b free money and if you add this to the over N75b he had made from the FBN deal, you are beginning to look at the most liquid Nigerian today.

It is safe to say that Femi is more liquid than the Federal Government, and such a man lurking around the market is dangerous.

Femi has no point to prove again. He really has no risks. A man who lost all of his wealth and rebuilt it in the same lifetime to these propotions shd be respected and feared.

He looked closely at the power sector. It’s upcoming unbundling with the immense possibility and looked at the N100b, tony’s power team was raking in and the N400b his own much smaller capacity plant was raking in and saw an under utilization there.

With all of that cash and looking to consolidate his power holdings, Transcorp was just a sitting duck.

He made his move two weeks ago. Took 6% and the price moved by close to 100%. From N1.40 to close at N3.10 within the same period.

At that point, Tony was showing Atiku type miscalculation. Remember how Atiku allowed 5 Governors to go, annoyed Wike, and now went to fight the formidable Tinubu at half strength.

This is what Tony was doing. While busy on the IG posting all sorts of wobbles, Femis boys were working.

He already has FBN, Geregu, the largest listing of a power company on the exchange and N200b war chest, Tony now has a fight in his hands.

Femi made the move again for Tony’s hands in marriage. He moved his position to about 12%, and Tony has just realized that he has an ambitious sailor wanting to marry him.

He immediately moved. Raising his stake to 31% and spending over N20b to do this.

But he still has those shares floating around, and with the way the pressure is going pushing up pricing, other shareholders will be looking at cashing in.

I do not think Tony has the liquidity to sustain this push as I do not know his exposure to UBA or even that UBA has the strength to back this fight.

From my perspective, it’s looking like it’s Femis fight to lose.

He can only do one of two things – push up the price and cahs out running away with another round of billions, or he Digs in like he did at First Bamk and makes Tony his third wife.

Now, if he marries Tony, it won’t be like the First Bank marriage cos someone’s ego will really be bruised here.

Tony personifies Transcorp he has built a global reputation in what he has been able to achieve with Transcorp pulling out an enviable philanthropic platform that is globally respected.

This would be a bad fight if it truly turns out to be a fight, but then cash is the main thing here, and does Tony have that kind of cash reserves to stop this marriage?

I doubt. Don’t forget that Transcorp also has an oil block and although that has not started production, it is still a major attraction.

I think Tony should either sell the oil block to raise cash to ward off Femi or leverage it for the same.

Either way, I think the only other option is for him to pray really hard that Femi will get bored and move towards buying Nigerian Railway and my people, that wil just be wishing that we won the world cup with Davido manning our goal post.

These are just my initial thoughts. We are still watching as this unfolds

Duke of Shomolu

We started this career getting gold circle condoms for free. If you went to malls, schools, clinics, and any of such places, you would be given the condoms for free.

It was so much that philandering men who forgot the condoms in their pockets would tell their angry wives that they were given at some conference, and the gullible women would smile and walk away.

Today, you get the condoms for about N1,700, depending on which part of the city u plan to carry out your nefarious activities.

On the same street you would get the rough rider or Featherlite variant which are the premium brand for N1,700 at those 24 hour pharmacy shops but if u walked into the nearby filing station you would get the same condom for N700

This is the economics of sex. The demand for this service is inelastic. Just like fuel where Givernment continues to struggle with the debilitating subsidy, there is no subsidy here o.

The openness of society and the ease of access occasioned by this openness have increased the demand for sex to almost malthusian proportions.

Supply now more than ever before exceeds demand, but against all known economic principles, price never comes down.

Daily, more supply is thrown into the market, and even though these reduces quality, demand remains strong, and an equilibrium price remains a mirage.

Now see this. The most expensive sex is the one that comes within the marriage.

The idea is that within that structure, you would be getting access to sex with no obstructions. So, to achieve these, you would spend a little fortune on some wedding ceremony, pay for a house, maintain the house, maintain inlaws, maintain children, and all of that.

Health, clothing, allowances, and expenditure on various ceremonies, birthdays, death of inlaws, etc. all come in the mix

These costs never reduce as they increase as you grow older in the relationship.

The sex starts unabated, and as challenges increase, the cost of these sex grows, and with time, quality reduces on both sides, but costs never come down.

The other types of sex now available in the markets are slightly less expensive simply because if you are clever, you may not have to spend on fundamental things.

But if you are not nimble enough, you would be saddle with the same costs as in marriage and then the added cosst of hotel and transport fare will kill you.

Now, depending on the grading of the woman, hotel rooms could go from 10k to 200k a night.

The small motel nestled in Bariga could give you a room at N10k for your neighbors housemaid and this could go as high as N200k at the Marriot for your MD or the Minsiter of the Federal republic or any top woman who has an over bloated ego.

Then you add refreshments, gifts, and transport which could move from fuelling her car to Keke marwa to a plane ticket, then you could be spending my annual salary on one round of sex.

To cut these costs, some have been known to go to the per hour joints. These also vary from N5,000 to N100,000 depending on location and the grading of the woman.

Some have been known to use uncompleted buildings, dark corridors, cars, and parking spots in malls, all to reduce the cost of location to zero.

But remembr the cost of the lady will go up to soothe her ego that would most likely be bruised by being fucked on the floor near the filling station up the street.

Another area in which we have to also look at is the cost of philandering. Men have been known to buy houses, foreign trips, and flush out huge cash to beg.

Recently, due to the increasing openness and enlightenment, the quest for pleasure has increased phenomenally, so we now begin to see exotic toys and other such things as lubricants entering the equation

A dildo can go from N10k to N50k depending on quality and vendor. They are usually searched and delivered under very coded means.

Due to usage, some female members fall on the very exotic range of lubricants that are on the markets. These are not cheap, and in some cases, the man would have to add this to his cost of sex.

Then, at the high end, we are now seeing body altering surgeries. Buttocks, breasts, skin, and facials. Millions go into these, and men pay in most cases.

As for the men, the sex tea and herbs industry is now a multi-billion Naira industry.

The irony here is that the young men who have the physical ability to play in the premiership usually lack the confidence and resources to buy premium players

The middle age lotahrio who has the resources and confidence lacks the physical ability, so sex enhancing drugs and herbs come to play here

Viagra which used to be very popular, is gradually being replaced with natural substitutes like dates, coconuts, tiger nuts, and other such natural sexual stimulants.

Sex teas are now top sellers promising all sorts of results, and the men indulge.

The economics of sex is such that we must understand that unlike fuel where there is a subsidy, the only subsidy you will get here is abstinence, and where that is not possible, you ration and moderate.

Pace yourelf. Do a budget and keep to it. Grade your partner and tie them to that part of your income that you would have labeled leisure.

Now if you are grading for example and you apportion say N1m per annum for sex and you now go and date say a Toke, you already know that there is a mismatch and sooner than later you may be speaking to the Federal Givernment for a bail out.

But at N1m per annum, you would know that it’s housemaid and secondary sch girsl who are above 18 that are your market range.

Discipline is the watch word. Carve out your financial operational base and stay there. It’s no longer a physical attraction or that she is my town girl. It is now a financial decision.

Lastly, as the incoming President is preparing to name his cabinet and start implementing policies, a subsidy on condoms is very essential if he is going to get the support of the people.

We have been able to track the massive increase in incidences of HIV and other STDs directly to the cost of Condoms.

At N1,700 for a pack of three and a room rate of N5k per hour and uber fare of say N4k depending on where you are coming from and a thank you fee of say N10,000 the univeristy student or bus driver or laborer will take his chances with HIV to reduce cost cos in all of these the condom is the least important factor in this production.

Come see the Play Annonymous Nipples for more insights on the economics of sex

Thank you

Duke of Shomolu